“The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old,
But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul.
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man.
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band.”
--The Leader of the Band, Dan Fogelberg
My wife Angel and I are part of a group chat that includes many of our closest friends.
I do more reading than texting, while she's usually the first to respond with an encouraging word in response to the newest text.
It's a group chat where we trust each other enough not to water down the opinions and thoughts we share. In our politicized world, it's difficult to build that trust with others. But it's what I enjoy most about this 10-plus year group chat.
It's a safe space to be honest and open with trusted friends. It's mostly lighthearted, back-and-forth banter. We laugh about Scott working chickens 23 hours a day. We try to guess what restaurant Phillip and Kassy are dining at. We marvel at Donna's daily grand baby photos (even though the baby looks the same to me in each new photo).
And we can always count on a heaping dose of Jerrod's sarcasm to put a smile or two on our faces.
Sometimes, though, it's our inner sanctum that provides love and encouragement in the most difficult life situations we face.
We're all 50-somethings now (some closer to 60-somethings...), and most of us have lost our fathers, the latest passing coming this week.
We love each other, so condolences come rapidly, along with a genuine willingness to help in any way possible. That's what friends do, and this group backs up the talk with action, especially in time of need.
But there's another constant each time one of us loses his or her father. It's the way we each describe our dads and how we'll remember them.
To a person, we've shared how our dad was the best man we ever knew. And we've bared our souls about how difficult it was to lose him.
As I reflect on what kind of father and mother these our friends are to their children, it's clear they did a lot of watching and listening to their own parents.
And it's been a blessing to see their own families grow, to see these moms and dads become grandparents, all the while using the resources of love, wisdom, patience and godliness they received while growing up.
Years from now, I hope our friends' sons and daughters have a chat group of their own with their closest friends.
And when they someday lose their fathers, I'm confident their children will describe him as 'the best man they ever knew.'
Just like Leader of the Band, Dan Fogelberg's timeless song, the legacies left by our friends to their children will help them navigate through life's sometimes complicated paths.
And those children will become their own living legacies to the leader of their band...
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