OPINION: High school sports more than just a game
How many times have you heard the phrase “it’s just a game” when discussing the outcome of a high school sporting event? If you’re around sporting events as much as I am… Well, I’ll just say I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard it. And sometimes I waffle back and forth on whether I believe that or not, but I think I’ve come to a final conclusion: High school sports are more than just games. But maybe not for the reason you’re thinking.
Sports can and should be one of the fundamental educational experiences to be had in high school, helping students learn teamwork, discipline, and perseverance, just to name a few qualities. Sports offer students a public way to show off their talents and skills, make friends, and learn life lessons. Unfortunately, there are also ways in which these lessons can be undercut. These benefits of high school sports can either be aided or undermined by the behavior of parents or adults in the stands. It’s important for the grown ups to exhibit, at the very least, decent human conduct at these events, not just for the sake of the children but also for those around us and the community we represent as a whole.
Adults, especially parents, serve as role models. I don’t think I’m saying anything groundbreaking there. Students are impressionable and are often looking to adults—parents, teachers, coaches, etc.—for cues and clues on how to act. When adults display good sportsmanship, it sets a good example for the student-athletes. It teaches them to respect their opponents, the officials, and the game itself, which is what we all find ourselves preaching but not necessarily doing. When parents act like that missed field goal or missed foul call or coaching decision is the end of the world —by yelling at referees, criticizing coaches, or (c’mon, man) other players—it sends the message that, well, maybe it is.
Look, I’m not saying fans can’t or shouldn’t support their teams with some playful verbal sparring or constructively criticize anyone involved. Sports should be fun and we all want to win. But when it gets to the point where grown adults are raging at 14- to 18-year-old kids, it’s gotten out of control. This leads to the type of toxic environment where the disrespect and negativity outweigh the positive aspects of the game being played. In other words, don’t be the person going viral for berating officials or coaches or, God forbid, players during the game.
The focus of high school sports should be the student-athletes and their progress and development, not the adults’ or parents' desires or frustrations. One of my favorite movies of all time is The Breakfast Club and one of the most heartbreaking scenes is when the Breakfast Club students are in the confession circle. Andrew Clark, the jock, played by Emilio Estevez, in one of the many powerful confessions, tells the group he’s in detention because he bullied a kid. Psychologically he realizes he did it for his dad. “Andrew, you’ve got to be number one! I won’t tolerate any losers in this family!” Andrew then adds that he sometimes wished he’d blow his knee out so he wouldn’t have to worry about his wrestling career anymore.
It’s dramatic, yes, but it’s a perfect example of my point. When parents become overbearing or overly critical, it puts unnecessary pressure on student-athletes, who, whether they show it or not, are probably a little stressed already. Like I said, we all want to win and any student-athlete looking to better themselves should be open to constructive criticism, but it shouldn’t go so far as to cause anxiety, burnout, or a loss of love for the game. High school athletes should feel supported, they should feel encouraged. Very few people perform well under a mountain of scrutiny and stress. A positive, supportive environment helps them thrive and, hopefully, develop a lifelong love for sports.
Remember, too, that fans’ behavior at sporting events also helps create the atmosphere in the stadium or gym. High school sporting events are billed as family-friendly events, and it’s up to all of us to ensure it stays that way. When you show up, you sit next to your dad or your next door neighbor or your co-worker; you bring your kids along and you invite your pals from out of town; and in a lot of cases you may be mixing with fans of the opposing team. When fans and adults go negative or engage in toxic behavior, it can disrupt any sense of community and school spirit that games should engender. Fair or not, one fan’s unruly conduct can also be seen as representative of the community as a whole to those from outside it. This can deter other parents and students from attending games, which diminishes that sense of community pride and school spirit that we all love. On the flip side, when fans act positively—or at least not like a jerk—it makes the experience better for everyone involved.
Finally, fans and parents need to recognize the important role of coaches and officials in high school sports. Just like parents are role models, coaches are, too. The men and women on the sidelines dedicate a lot of their time and energy to teaching and working with the student-athletes, often with few resources and sometimes at significant personal cost. A lot of them are teachers, who after spending all morning and afternoon with their students turn around and spend half the evening with them, too. Officials have an important job, as well, making sure games are fair and safe. Both coaches and officials deserve your respect and your appreciation. Most of them have thick skin—it comes with the territory—but next time ask yourself if you’d like to do your job with hundreds of people watching and criticizing everything you did, even if you know you did it right. Awful parental and fan behavior at sporting events is one of the major reasons why retention of officials and referees is so difficult. When parents overly criticize coaches and officials, it can certainly be demoralizing, but it can also call into question the integrity of the game.
Simply put, the behavior of spectators at high school sporting events is important. Adult fans and parents need to recognize their role as role models to the kids on the field and on the court. You may not like their decisions, but at the very least show some respect to the coaches and officials. Most importantly, make the well-being and the physical and mental development of the student-athletes the priority. For right now, at least, the kids aren’t out there getting paid to be there. Most of them play because they want to, and it would be a real shame if a kid’s desire or love of a sport was forever ruined by an obnoxious or overbearing adult. Sports, especially football, are very important in the South. Culturally important.
There are rivalries to win, traditions to uphold, winning streaks to continue. But at what cost to the kids that are doing all that? You think, like I do, that it’s more than just a game? Please, with the fall sport season just around the corner, act like it.